Crackity Crack Crack

Hello all you crazy people. Have the holidays been treating you well??? I sure hope so because I’ve been having a love affair. Yes, you heard me. It’s true. My dehydrator and I go at it every night in the kitchen. We’ve been making everything we can get our hands on- apples, watermelon, mangoes, pineapple, jackfruit. My cat is next to go. Haha Just kidding. I know you guys would send PETA after me.


Even on Christmas day, I had my dehydrator in the basement. He was making carrot crackers for me. They were the best crackers I’ve ever had in my life. I say that about most of the foods I eat, but would I ever lie to you??? The basement smelled soo damn good, but my stepdad said it smelled like pee. His sense of smell is obviously going with age. Tisk tisk. Hehe.

I found this recipe on GoneRaw (aka my savior) and it’s just too good for words. I’ve been eating these crackers with hummus, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives. You must try them if you have a dehydrator near you!!!! If you don’t have one, go steal one from Bed, Bath, and Beyond… or even SEARS!!! Haha I had a customer tonight who was buying a dehydrator and I didn’t even know we sold them. I guess Sears isn’t as bad as I thought… Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s on my good side for now.

Here's the Recipe:
Carrot Crackers
6 cloves garlic
4 tablespoon ground flax seed meal
1 cup almonds
salt and pepper to taste (I used about ½ tsp salt and a few pinches of pepper)
2 medium organic carrots
Directions: Ground almonds to make flour. Put in food processor with carrots, garlic, flax seed meal, salt and pepper. Mix well.
Make flat crackers and place on dehydrator sheets. dehydrate at 105 F for 10-12 hr. flip the crackers after 6 hr and continue dehydrating. I made about 12 medium-sized crackers.

Daring Bakers Challenge Numero Uno

Hello everyone!!! I am so excited for this post today. It is officially my first post as a Daring Baker. I have to post the phrase below because it’s part of the rules, fool.

“This month's challenge is brought to us by the adventurous Hilda from Saffron and Blueberry and Marion from Il en Faut Peu Pour Etre Heureux.
They have chosen a French Yule Log by Flore from Florilege Gourmand.”

This yule log was the most delicious dessert I’ve ever had. I mean, EVER. My mouth was in heaven. I am not going to lie- this was the most difficult dish I have ever prepared in my short life. I worked all day at my crappy job, came home, and stayed up late trying to finish it. Obviously, I made the whole damn thing in my bathrobe- we keep it classy here in the Schupp household.

The French Yule Log is so much harder than a regular yule log because it has 6 elements to it. It was also tough because the whole recipe was NOT vegan or gluten-free, so I had to play around with practically every ingredient in order to veganize it. I thought about not making it vegan, but then I came to my senses. I put my happy face on and said “Let’s rock this bitch!”

The first element is the Dacquoise. This is basically a thin almond cake. Naturally, I didn't have parchment paper so foil had to do. The cake got REALLY stuck to the foil, but nobody noticed when it was all assembled.

The second element is the Milk Chocolate Mousse and it is also layered through the entire yule log- thank god. This stuff was so damn good.

The third element is Praline Feuillete, and this includes gavottes. Gavottes are basically crepes and I had to chop them up and pour chocolate over them. Poor little gavottes haha. Luckily, I had a good bit of this leftover so I ate a huge slab of it at the end of my baking adventure.

The fourth element is the Chocolate-Cinnamon Ganache. Dear God. That's all I need to say. How could this ever taste bad???

The fifth element is the Creme Brulee. Now, obviously, I had to cut out all the eggs. I used tofu and it worked like a charm. I forgot to take a picture because I was just shocked it worked.

The sixth element is the Dark Chocolate Icing. I had to use agar flakes, and I had no clue what I was doing. I didn't know about boiling them to make them all "gel-like" so I just softened them in water. Ummm... that didn't work. I just stirred them with the chocolate icing and then poured it on top of the frozen yule log. I put coconut on top to disguise those damn agar flakes.

All in all, I wish I could eat this every day of my life. Everyone at Christmas also agreed. My cousin told me she would pay $80 for this log. I wish I could mass produce it somehow because it just took so long to make!!! It was a fabulous cooking experience though and my mother was so darn proud!!!

Here's some pictures from Christmas!!!
I took a damn big piece of yule log so it's weighing down the plate. ha who cares!!?!?!?!
My sister, Pls, and me. We look so darn cute!!!
All of the cousins in our fam-damily.
My favorite Christmas present of all- my PedEgg!!!! Ahh I laughed hysterically when I opened this, but I just can't stop using it. I decided to demonstrate it for my family and friends. Everyone thought it was disgusting and told me to get out.
It's love.

Some RAW Goodness

Good Morning, my friends. I hope most of you are on break for Christmas or another holiday you celebrate. I gotta get my butt to work today because I just could NOT find anybody to take my shift. People are so heartless these days haha I honestly offered to bake people food for a week, and they still said NO. Damn them. They don't know what they're missing!!!

I figured I'd post a few videos of Mitchel and me at work. He quit some time ago, so work hasn't been much fun since he left this hell hole. When we worked together, all we did was goof off. Here's what I mean:







I wish I could go back to those fun times at Sears, but they have been non-existent lately!! Oh well, thank God for Christmas tomorrow- the one day that the store is closed.

Oh I almost forgot to tell you guys how my cleanse is going. I think I'm on day 10 or so (I'm really not sure) and I haven't noticed a difference in bowel movements at all. I hope it starts working eventually because I just want to be cleaned out; however, the amount of water I am drinking has to be lethal haha I go pee about 15 times a day. I don't know what a normal amount is, but my trips to the bathroom have definitely increased.

As for food, I've been eating primarily RAW lately. I made raw ice cream that I saw on GoneRaw. The original recipe was for Chocolate Ice Cream, but I changed up some stuff and made Banana Split Ice Cream. It is outstanding and it's pretty darn healthy.

Here's the recipe:

Banana Split Ice Cream

2 frozen bananas
1/2 cup "milk" (nut milk, or soy milk- doesn't matter)
1 Tbsp raw cacao powder
2 Tbsp agave nectar
1/2 cup fresh strawberries
1 Tbsp cacao nibs

Directions: Throw the first 5 ingredients into the food processor and blend. Stir in the cacao nibs and then freeze or eat fresh!!

Another random part of today's post is my Marie Antoinette Award from Melody!! Thank you so much. If you haven't been on her blog, she always has cute pictures and fun family stories on it. She's such a good mom!! Her blog says "this award is for people who are deemed 'real' in who they are." That really makes me happy to get that because it's such a meaningful award. I'm supposed to pass this onto 7 people, but I like everyone on here so if you read my blog, you get this award!!!

Oh What A Night

Hi everyone!!! I’ve missed you guys so much!!! I haven’t really been blogging the past few days because of work. I’ve worked 25 hours this weekend so I am just plain tired. I’m scheduled for Monday, but I’m NOT going in haha. I just don’t care. I got somebody else to take my shift so I could finally have a day free of insane lunatics.

So much hilarious stuff has been going on, but the funniest (and somewhat painful) was last night with Mitchel. My mom bought us Survivor buffs so we wore them everywhere. They are the coolest things I've ever seen. We went to this really ghetto mall, and then did some food shopping with Lands' End Dog. We stayed in the card aisle forever just reading how ridiculous all of them were. I ended up slicing my leg open on a card rack because I was laughing so hard haha I got blood all over the floor and on my sister's $70 jeans. But honestly, if you're gonna spend that much on jeans, then you just know they are gonna get ruined. After we got home, we played on my parent's light-up animals outside, tried to open a coconut, and ended up smashing it on my sidewalk because we were frustrated. Here's a ton of photos-

Mitchel with his Survivor buff- he's so proud.

Mitchel as a freezing Middle Eastern woman.

Our favorite dog in the world is right where we want him.

If you stare too much- you'll get lost in his eyes.

Causing madness in the organic aisle- it's what we do best.

We love apricot filling... and looking like bank robbers.

Mother-son moment. Landsy loves reading cards to me. He's such a doll.

I'm positive the other customers were just as scared and annoyed as this cat... thank god!!

The battle wound. I was surprised at how much it bleed. It left a nice little puddle on the floor.

This is so gross, but I couldn't help showing you guys. I was cracking up the ENTIRE time!! I'm sure if these were my pants, though, I'd be pissed!!! hehe

Licking the wound to make it better

I LOVE Twilight!!!!!!!! Well, that picture is kind of a lie. I haven't read the book, but I've seen the movie. I just think reading makes me look studious.

My Survivor buff/babushka will never leave my side!!

Trying to cut open the coconut- we are such idiots.

I do not trust myself with knives and you shouldn't either.

Getting some action with the moose. I'm sure the neighbors loved it.

Dating profile: Mitchel enjoys long walks at the grocery store, dancing to Britney Spears, and riding polar bears.

I didn't think slamming the coconut on the sidewalk would break it... but it did. haha it got everywhere!!! My mom was going crazy because she thought it would stain the concrete.

So romantic!!

I hope your weekend was just as crazy as mine was!!! Actually, I take that back. You'd probably be suicidal and weird if you worked at Sears, so stay away!!! Now you know what kind of employees Sears hires haha

Bahumbug

Hello, guys. I've been kind of lazy lately. Ever since I finished my last final on Monday night, I've been beat!!! I did get my grades for the semester and am rather pleased. I got 4 A's and 1 B. The B is in Trig, but I am so grateful for it!!! That was a dang hard class. I started back to work this week at Sears, too. I have to get up at 5 am the next 3 days to be at work. Shoot me. Who the hell is going to be shopping at Sears (of all places) that early?!?!?! I definitely wouldn't if I were a normal human being- which I'm not haha but none of us bloggers really are. I'm just a little worried about my morning bowel movements due to my DrNatura cleanse. I'll be working in the men's department on the 2nd floor and it's the furthest from the 1st floor bathroom. Just lovely. I have to drink a hefty cup of pure fiber in the morning, so the Sears customers and employees better brace themselves haha

Today at work was just really stressful. The most annoying part was looking at my schedule and seeing that I work straight through next Friday, with the exception of Christmas. I just wanted to quit when I saw it haha The managers do this to me on purpose because I'm a college student. In case any of you haven't noticed, I am NOT a work horse. I'd prefer a job where I work about 2 or 3 days a week and come and go as I please. Obviously, if I have a bakery someday, I'll be there all the time, but at least I'll be doing what I love. With Sears, it's just a little pocket change to buy frivolous items with.

When I got home from work, I just wanted food. I was seriously doing some emotional eating, but I don't care. I was hungry though, but I did eat a lot. My main regret food was the strawberries dipped in chocolate. It's not that I regret eating it, it's what I found in the food. When I bit into a strawberry, I found a green worm in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How disgusting is that, people!?!?! That's never happened to me before. I just wanted to throw up.

But I guess you've heard enough of my whining. I do have to get to sleep. Have a good Friday everyone and don't behave ;)

Where the magic happens

Hey guys. I just got home a little while ago from my trig final aka the death of me. I can honestly say that the SAT math portion was way easier than my final. I'm just glad that I am out of that class. Obviously, if I do bad, I'll probably have to take trig again, but at least I won't have it for a few months.

On the brighter side of things, I figured I'd post some pictures of my bedroom. I have no clue what prompted me to do this. I was just folding laundry, saw my camera, and figured the hell with it. My room rocks and you guys should see it. It's where all the magic happens. And when I say magic, I mean pole dancing to Britney Spears on my bedpost.

Here you go:

This is my bed. I don't enjoy making it, but I do it on occasion if I feel like it's been too long. I like sleeping with 3 blankets because my house is a freakin freezer. As for the hot pink sheets, I can't stand changing them, so I try to avoid it. I guess you could say that I sleep in my own filth haha

My life-size Hannah Montana poster- Don't ask.

My plethora of stuffed animals. These ones are my favorites, so they have their own couch. My ex bf gave me the wolf and giraffe; my mom gave me hello kitty; and I made the bear!! Hell yeah. I have mad sewing skills... not.

These are my old pom-poms and trophy. Cheerleading was a lot of fun for me, and I wish I could still do it. At the heart of this picture is something I despise- the Rubik's cube. I've tried my entire life to solve that damn thing. I've watched countless hours of youtube how-to's, and I just can't do it. I hate anybody who can. haha

That green worm was my first stuffed animal. Somebody gave it to me in the delivery room- of course, I remember this day perfectly.

My favorite purse- I know it's completely against veganism, but come on people, how cute is it??? My teacher told me I looked like I was going to a picnic when I brought it to her class. She's just jealous.

The best fake tattoo collection ever!! I usually wear one every day, so I like to have a wide range to choose from.

I have this crazy shoe addiction. I don't know when it started, but I'm okay with it.

More shoes- I just had to get my hooker boots in there. I only wear them on special occasions... like going to church.

I got this picture drawn at Giant Eagle one day when I was there with my bff, Mitchel. Obviously, it depicts me perfectly.

Figure I'd finish off with a cute best friends picture. This is Mitchel and I at our Sears photo shoot. haha We were bored one day, so we scheduled a photo session. We brought aprons, rolling pins, and whisks. I think the photographer thought we were drunk, but that's okay.

Hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, then maybe you'll enjoy this. It's a really inhumane video from a Survivor episode. I crack up every time I watch it.

Well, Saturday was definitely an eventful day. My mother and I tried to go Christmas shopping… which ended up being shear hell. I have never seen stores so damn crowded in my life. I ended up buying a food dehydrator because I needed one so badly. From what I’ve heard, they are the queen of RAW cooking. Obviously, Vitamix is the king.

Later in the night, my bff, Dez, came over and watched a movie. I was hesitant about renting a movie because I didn’t want to have to pay my parent’s late fees on videos. Lord knows it’s probably like $100. Haha I ended up opening my own account just to avoid that. We went to Family Video together, and we wanted to rent “My Best Friend’s Girl” but they didn’t have it yet. Damn. We then decided that we would watch the movie with Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear, but neither of us knew what it was called. We settled on “Sleepy Hollow” because we are just both really weird human beings. That movie was so damn scary though!!!! I was using my coat to shield my virgin eyes from all the killing.

The one thing about the movie that I didn’t understand was how Johnny Depp played Ichabod Crane (the bird-face, skinny, tall guy). Johnny Depp could NEVER look like that even if he was beat with an ugly stick as a child.

But let’s stop thinking about Johnny Depp (naked haha) and start thinking about food. I made RAW pancakes last night for dinner, and they were just divine. I found the recipe in Ani’s Raw Food Kitchen. I followed the recipe pretty closely, but added twice the amount of salt (oops), some raspberries, and cinnamon. These were really good and definitely “a-okay” for my cleanse diet…unlike those sneaky, little blue muffins. I don’t know how they got into my belly. Hehe.

Here’s the recipe:

Raw Pancakes
2 cups whole flax seeds or ground flax seeds (I used ground)
2 tbsp coconut oil
½ cup agave nectar
½ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
¼ cup water
1 cup freeze-dried raspberries

Directions: Combine the first 7 ingredients in a bowl using your fingers. If it seems dry, add some more water (2 tbsp), but not too much. Stir in the raspberries. On a pan lined with parchment paper, make 8 patties by forming into balls and flattening them. I froze mine to make them firmer and more pancake-like.